While reading Scott Cunningham’s Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner, I came across an interesting concept. Cunningham was discussing the spiral of rebirth and reincarnation, detailing how many believe it works. Essentially, each time our souls are born, it is with certain goals to be accomplished. We are born as many times as necessary to walk the full journey of life, to reach the epitome of knowledge and understanding, to reach Nirvana. Cunningham advises us to be wary of perceived soul mates. He says that though your feelings and dedication to this one individual may be sincere, you could easily meet many more people with whom you feel the same bond. He goes on to explain that if each of us is tied with another soul through death and rebirth, then we will continue to be reborn with that other soul tied to us, stopping us from learning what we need to in each life. “. . .Announcing that you’ve found your soul mate is rather akin to stating that you’re not progressing on the incarnational spiral,” he concludes.

This struck me because in all my wanderings I’d never questioned the concept of soul mates. I wouldn’t say that I’ve ever really believed in one person being born for only for another, but soul mates are a solid part of my thinking. If they’re not tied together by the gods or themselves, then they are made in each lifetime. So I asked myself: Are soul mates as a concept a way to stop spiritual growth, a soul-journey companion, or simply one of many you may meet in any given lifetime that the All has brought to you?

I think my fiancé said it best when I told him about what I’d been reading. He said that people think of soul mates as lovers only, when really there could be two souls tied together that are continually reincarnated within close proximity to each other every life, but in different forms. Partnered souls can be lovers, but they can also be parents, siblings, friends, loved pets, etc. With this ever-changing basis for soul mates, learning doesn’t have to stop. I personally like this idea better than Cunningham’s. Perhaps I am afraid of being alone, but I just feel that people were meant not meant to be alone. They belong in pairs or groups.

“Everything changes, nothing remains without change.” –Buddha