Have you ever felt drawn to do a spell or a ritual before? It’s a subtle thing, usually, that starts off as a musing of the idea then becomes active thoughts and whispered longing. Contemplating a spell, I believe, gathers energy to you in a subconscious manner, and once those energies start to gather, the need to form Wiccan prayer becomes stronger. Sometimes you might only need a couple of hours to decide on a spell, and other times it could take days. But once the seed of thought is planted, it is hard to uproot—for we school ourselves to translate our thoughts into our reality.
Over the past couple of days, I’ve felt this pull. Some of the energy was left over from our recent thunderstorms, and others have been brewing within me for several weeks now. It had been a long time since I’d cast my circle and harkened to the God and Goddess, and asked the Guardians to witness my rite. It took some careful planning, gathering the needed herbs and candles and getting them into my messenger bag for smuggling out of the house. It took time to decide on the chant, and the order of actions. It also took time for me to recall and practice how to cast a circle, it had been so long since I’d last tried. But merely by putting forth sincere effort, I felt a tension I hadn’t known I’d been carrying around melt away, and it was an awesome feeling.
I consider myself a witch. But I consider myself a witch in the same way I consider myself a writer—still very much an in-progress thing, and something not always on the forefront of my plate. Both of these things I wish to change. Change starts within yourself and your own decisions, regardless of how difficult the circumstances. Don’t let your non-Pagan family be a hindrance to your spiritual needs. Don’t let the acquisition of tools be all you think about. The beautiful thing about Wicca is that you make the rituals and words; it is your spell, not something created millennia ago and read from an ancient book (unless you want to worship that way). When it comes down to it, an entire spell can be done in your head. Because we are the starters of change and without strong minds and wills, all the tools and chants in the world are useless.