Before you Self-Identify as Wiccan: A Letter to the Debating Teen

Dear teen considering Wicca,

Merry meet from the less-traveled path. My name is Ayslyn, and I know some of the things that are going through your head right now. Your world has been shifted drastically by some life-changing event and you cannot find anyone to relate to. So, like any self-respecting individual, you set out to find answers for yourself. Whether you found Wicca through your own research or a friend, you’re likely overwhelmed and excited by the possibilities and the apparent coolness. I know I was.

I’m thrilled for you, and that tingling along your skin is a sign that you’re about to discover something that’s going to change your life. Hang onto that feeling because it’s going to serve you well later on in life, no matter where your spiritual journey takes you.

There are a few things I want you to consider before you jump ship from your family’s faith and declare yourself Wiccan. It’s a decision that should never be made lightly, so don’t make it right this second; give yourself time to really consider the implications and possibilities. Wicca is not a fad; the faith and practices should not be disrespected. This is true of any religion.

Now, it’s important for you to understand that we are a marginalized group, and you’re guaranteed to always have someone telling you your faith is not real. Each day that you choose to wear your pentacle in the open or you choose to share a tidbit of your practice or speak up against ignorance, you’re opening yourself up to speculation. This world is full of people who validate themselves by invalidating others. If you go down this path, you don’t always have to know where you’re going, but you have to be confident that you’re where you need to be at any given time.

If you choose to be Wiccan in a public way, you are taking on the responsibility of being an ambassador for all of us. Traditionally Wiccans are a quiet bunch, but increasingly there are those of us who feel a need to speak out, like myself. But before you draw this kind of attention to yourself, please do your research and understand who and what you’re representing. You don’t always have to have the right answers, but you should always be smart enough to navigate bad situations.

Wicca is not whatever you want it to be, either. Nor is it flashy magic and powers like in the Harry Potter movies. Wicca is about each individual finding a path that is fulfilling to herself, but there are guidelines. The Rede is the generally acknowledge creed, and as such bears your studying and your respect. Understand the ground rules and go from there. Magick, also is one of those things that takes time to fully come to understand. Those of us who are witches as well as Wiccans cast spells, yes. But these spells are our prayers, we treat them with the same reverence any praying Christian would treat their time talking with god.

If your family is not going to be accepting about you becoming Wiccan, remember that no matter what happens, you need to treat their religion and their concerns  with respect. Only you can decide how best to handle this situation. But the minute you become quarrelsome or attack others’ faith, you lower yourself to a point that is not becoming of a Wiccan. Respect others, even if they do not respect you, and remember that we do not attempt to convert others to our faith. If they are interested we will teach, but the choice is theirs. Persuasion should be something you are fluid in within this regard.

I tell you all of this not to scare you, but to help you understand the decision that now lies before you. We Wiccans are a welcoming bunch, no matter where you meet others. Some are quiet, some like helping new ones, but we do not turn away those who are interested. Now think. Think before you make any kind of decision. Because if you dedicate yourself to the Mother, that is a vow you must observe with perfect love and perfect trust.

Stay in the Mother’s light,



Anyone reading this who has further questions/concerns or who is need of a sounding board is more than welcome to email me at


About Ayslyn'sCorner

I am an eclectic Pagan bordering on atheist who has made her way through a number of different spiritual spaces. You might wonder what a person self-identifying as an atheist has to discuss in a religion/spiritual context – and, well, so do I. That’s one of the things I aim to explore on Ayslyn's Corner. Check out Ayslyn's Corner at Check out Invisible Ink Blog at Check out wombs in rebellion at
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8 Responses to Before you Self-Identify as Wiccan: A Letter to the Debating Teen

  1. mari wells says:

    You present a lot of great information. I think you should make a note though. I’m sure there are as many if not more older people to turn to Wicca after living in another faith.

  2. Witchy_Girl says:

    I wish I had this blog post when I first started out, a lovely piece 🙂

  3. Neferet says:

    Well said; I applaud you for your words of wisdom! 😀

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